What They Don’t Tell You About Adoption

What They Don't Tell You About Adoption

Adoption can be a confusing topic filled with misunderstanding. You may have heard both good and bad adoption stories, but no one usually talks about the feeling of loss, the judgment others make, or the satisfaction you can feel knowing you did what was best for your child.

Adoption Involves Loss

There is no other way to describe it. Although a birth mother (and possibly, father) make the best choice for their child, they lose the opportunity to be their parents. Their child loses the immediate connection to their biological family, and adoptive parents generally choose adoption because infertility keeps them from having children. 

How To Cope With Feelings of Loss

Everyone’s situation is unique, and people grieve differently. No one can tell another person how long or in what way they need to grieve, but there are steps you can take to help yourself along the way. 

  1. Acknowledge your pain
  2. Accept that you will feel many different emotions
  3. Allow your experience to be unique to you
  4. Seek support from people who care about you and understand your situation
  5. Support yourself emotionally and physically
  6. Find professional help if necessary

A reputable adoption agency ensures that birth and adoptive parents receive proper education to prepare them for future changes. The agency connects them to support groups and counselors who understand the challenges. 

Most adoptions today are open. An adoption coordinator can assist birth and adoptive parents in meeting one another and building a connection even before the baby is born.

People May Judge You

One of the negative aspects of social media is the freedom it has given people to say whatever they think. Everyone has an opinion, and no one holds back.

You may be surprised by the judgment you receive because you chose to make an adoption plan for your child. Misunderstandings cloud people’s acceptance because they believe you are “giving up” or “giving away” your baby.

Most people need help understanding the adoption process. They don’t realize you can select the potential adoptive parents and the future you want for your child.

How To Cope With Judgment

When people don’t understand something or someone, they can be judgmental. Your best defense is to expect and accept that people will disagree with you. There are other ways to protect yourself too.

  1. The only opinion that truly matters is yours
  2. You can’t control what others think, say, or do
  3. People often judge others out of their insecurity or ignorance
  4. You don’t need to convince others about your decision
  5. Forgiveness releases you and them

You Can Find Satisfaction With Your Decision

For many expectant and birth mothers, choosing to place their baby for adoption will be one of the hardest decisions they will ever make. No one makes this choice lightly. 

But you can find happiness and fulfillment with your decision. Adoption is one of the most courageous and selfless choices a woman can make because it puts her child’s needs first. 

A birth mother who continues contact with her child and their adoptive family has the assurance they are safe, loved, and nurtured. She can tell her child that she chose adoption out of love, and although it was difficult, she knew it was best for their future.

Adoptees who have contact with their birth families better understand their heritage and their birth mothers’ choices. 

Want To Know More About Making An Adoption Plan?

There is still much more to understand about the adoption process, your state’s adoption laws, and the emotions of adoption. If you would like to know more, we’re available to chat. Call us at 1-888-564-HOPE or fill out our confidential online contact form. We will be the support group you need.

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Elizabeth and A Gift of Hope have been a touchstone during our adoption process. Having had issues with a previous agency – Elizabeth was a breath of fresh air! Reassuring, supportive and empathetic. We are so in love with our daughter and thank A Gift of Hope everyday for her!

AGOHA is a great agency that has provided amazing support and guidance though the adoption process. Would highly recommend AGOHA!

Our family has used their services for adoption. It’s wonderful dealing with someone who is looking out for the whole child, not just placing kids.

A Gift of Hope Adoptions is a Godsend for so many expectant young mothers. I completely recommend this organization for anyone interested in providing a wonderful life for their soon-to-be baby. This organization is also a Godsend for those of us who cannot have our own biological children.

I have recommended A Gift of Hope Adoptions to several mother’s considering adoptions for their babies. They have been so happy to feel supported and empowered through their decision.
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“We adopted both of our sons through A Gift of Hope Adoptions. They helped us every step of the way and answered all the questions we had, and we had a lot! We would not be where we are today, with two busy boys in our family, if it wasn’t for A Gift of Hope.”

“We decided to use A Gift of Hope Adoptions because they are very personal and caring. The wait and uncertainty of adoption seemed daunting, but A Gift of Hope helped make the process go smoothly, and we couldn’t be happier with our beautiful child.”