What Does Adoption Look Like When My Child Grows Up?

woman curious about adoption

Adoption is not a one-time event. It’s a lifetime event. It affects you, your child, and their adoptive parents forever. When considering this choice, realize you will always be a mother. That will never change.

How Can I Have a Relationship With My Child?

Part of considering if adoption is the right choice for you and your child includes determining how much contact you wish to have with them. If you choose an open or semi-open adoption plan, you can have contact throughout your child’s life.

Contact Agreement

You and the adoptive parents agree on the type of communication you each want as you develop your adoption plan. Each state has their own adoption laws and requirements. Make sure the adoption coordinator you choose understands the law regarding contact agreements.

In Missouri, you and the adoptive couple can create a written contact agreement outlining the amount and type of coommunication. You can include letters, emails, phone calls, and personal visits. Of course, everyone also agrees to the exchange of photographs after the adoption.

To be enforceable, the agreement is filed with and approved by a Missouri court at or before the finalization of the adoption. The courts determine if the agreement is in the child’s best interest.

Is Open or Semi-Open Adoption a Good Plan?

The majority of adoptions are open or semi-open today. Secrecy and shame were often associated with earlier closed adoptions, but know that this plan isn’t a shameful choice.

Some women today choose a closed adoption because it offers the most privacy. You must make the decision that’s right for your situation, but remember that you won’t have a relationship with your child if you select a closed adoption plan.

The following are some of the benefits of remaining in contact for you and your child:

For You:

  • Assurance and comfort that your child is loved and cared for
  • Becoming a part of your child’s life
  • The adoptive family can become an extended family
  • You have the opportunity to explain to your child why you chose adoption
  • Knowing your child is safe can help reduce sadness

For Your Child:

  • A sense of identity
  • Answers the “why?” questions
  • Offers a relationship with their birth families
  • Reduces the feeling of being unwanted
  • Provides greater self-confidence in being adopted

Can I Continue My Relationship With My Child?

Unfortunately, no parent can guarantee a strong and healthy relationship with their adult children, whether adopted or not. As your child grows and develops, they will have traits from their biological and adoptive parents. They become a mix of both of you.

As adoptive and birth parents build strong relationships, your child will know many different people love them. Like all children, they may experience some teen angst or choose to rebel, but your love and commitment throughout their life shows them they have value.

If you would like more information about placing your child for adoption, the different plans available, and your rights as a birth mother, contact A Gift of Hope Adoptions. Either fill out our online contact form or call us at 1-888-564 HOPE (4673). We’re always available to answer your questions.

This blog is for informational purposes only. This is not legal or medical advice. While we try our best to reflect current laws with accuracy at the time of writing, please note the laws can change over time.

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Elizabeth and A Gift of Hope have been a touchstone during our adoption process. Having had issues with a previous agency – Elizabeth was a breath of fresh air! Reassuring, supportive and empathetic. We are so in love with our daughter and thank A Gift of Hope everyday for her!

AGOHA is a great agency that has provided amazing support and guidance though the adoption process. Would highly recommend AGOHA!

Our family has used their services for adoption. It’s wonderful dealing with someone who is looking out for the whole child, not just placing kids.

A Gift of Hope Adoptions is a Godsend for so many expectant young mothers. I completely recommend this organization for anyone interested in providing a wonderful life for their soon-to-be baby. This organization is also a Godsend for those of us who cannot have our own biological children.

I have recommended A Gift of Hope Adoptions to several mother’s considering adoptions for their babies. They have been so happy to feel supported and empowered through their decision.
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“We adopted both of our sons through A Gift of Hope Adoptions. They helped us every step of the way and answered all the questions we had, and we had a lot! We would not be where we are today, with two busy boys in our family, if it wasn’t for A Gift of Hope.”

“We decided to use A Gift of Hope Adoptions because they are very personal and caring. The wait and uncertainty of adoption seemed daunting, but A Gift of Hope helped make the process go smoothly, and we couldn’t be happier with our beautiful child.”