What Can I Do if My Partner is Pregnant, But I Don’t Want to Be a Dad?

pregnant woman considering adoption plans

We’ve got good news and bad news. Here’s the bad news – ultimately, your partner is the only one who can decide how to handle the pregnancy. The good news is she has another option besides parenting. 

Have you talked about making an adoption plan? Set up a time with A Gift of Hope Adoptions to learn more about placing your child for adoption.

What Does it Mean to Make an Adoption Plan?

Adoption is a legal transaction that transfers the parental rights and responsibilities of the birth parents to the adoptive parents. It is not co-parenting or foster care. 

By signing the agreement to terminate their rights, the birth mother and father make a permanent decision to place their child with another family.

There are three different adoption plans. You and the birth mother can choose the plan that works best for you. You can also select the adoptive couple who raise your child by choosing an open or semi-open plan.

Adoption Plans

  • Open adoption lets you communicate directly with the adoptive family. You can exchange names, addresses, and phone numbers to stay in contact.
  • Semi-open adoption allows you to communicate with the adoptive couple, but your adoption coordinator acts as a go-between for all contact. You have more privacy.
  • Closed adoption means you have no contact with the adoptive couple or your child. You remain completely anonymous. 

How Much Does it Cost?

It costs the birth parents nothing to make an adoption plan. The potential adoptive couple pays for all adoption-related services, including legal expenses. 

In Missouri, a birth mother can receive other pregnancy-related payments depending on her situation. The courts can approve reasonable costs for food, transportation, rent, and other necessities.

What Are My Options?

As we said earlier, since your partner is the one who is pregnant, she is the only one to decide the outcome of the pregnancy. You cannot force a decision.

It’s time to have a serious discussion. Does she want to parent her child? Is she open to talking about making an adoption plan? Does she know how you feel about fatherhood?

Don’t Do This:

  • Pressure or argue with her to make one decision over another
  • Avoid the situation by saying, “I don’t care. Do whatever you want.”
  • Stop supporting her emotionally

Do This:

  • Talk with her about the pregnancy, her concerns, and her intentions
  • Ask her to meet with A Gift of Hope Adoptions Coordinator
  • Continue communicating without pressure or arguments

What Is My Next Step?

Whether you like it or not, if you had sex with your partner and she is pregnant, you are, most likely, the father. If you are both open to pursuing an adoption plan, schedule an appointment with A Gift of Hope Adoptions. 

You are not committing to placing your child for adoption by talking with us. Adoption is a big decision, and we understand the need to discuss this option thoroughly before choosing. We are happy to meet with you individually or together. 

This blog is for informational purposes only. This is not legal or medical advice. While we try our best to accurately reflect current laws at the time of writing, please note that the laws can change over time.

What Questions Can We Answer?

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Elizabeth and A Gift of Hope have been a touchstone during our adoption process. Having had issues with a previous agency – Elizabeth was a breath of fresh air! Reassuring, supportive and empathetic. We are so in love with our daughter and thank A Gift of Hope everyday for her!

AGOHA is a great agency that has provided amazing support and guidance though the adoption process. Would highly recommend AGOHA!

Our family has used their services for adoption. It’s wonderful dealing with someone who is looking out for the whole child, not just placing kids.

A Gift of Hope Adoptions is a Godsend for so many expectant young mothers. I completely recommend this organization for anyone interested in providing a wonderful life for their soon-to-be baby. This organization is also a Godsend for those of us who cannot have our own biological children.

I have recommended A Gift of Hope Adoptions to several mother’s considering adoptions for their babies. They have been so happy to feel supported and empowered through their decision.
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“We adopted both of our sons through A Gift of Hope Adoptions. They helped us every step of the way and answered all the questions we had, and we had a lot! We would not be where we are today, with two busy boys in our family, if it wasn’t for A Gift of Hope.”

“We decided to use A Gift of Hope Adoptions because they are very personal and caring. The wait and uncertainty of adoption seemed daunting, but A Gift of Hope helped make the process go smoothly, and we couldn’t be happier with our beautiful child.”