Adoption can be stressful for everyone in the family. No one knows what to expect because it’s new and unfamiliar territory. Preparing your children for the arrival of their adopted sibling is critical. Here are a few tips to get you started.
Talk with Them About Adoption While You Wait
“Hurry up and wait” is the potential adoptive parent’s mantra. No matter what type of adoption you have, there is always time to wait. Make good use of this time to explain the concept of adoption to your children.
Depending on your children’s age and the type of adoption, you can find excellent adoption books. If you’re adopting a newborn, read A Most Unusual Day or A Piglet Named Mercy from the Mercy Watson series. If your baby is transracial, consider reading Horace or Wolfie.
Talk about their sibling’s birth mother and what the family will call her. Let your children know she will always be a part of their lives. Your children can draw pictures or write letters to their sibling’s birth mother so that she becomes a part of the family as a whole.
Involve Older Children in the Process
If your children are older, you can have them help prepare for their sibling’s arrival. You can decorate their sibling’s room together, prepare a unique “Welcome!” poster, or have them pick out a special toy.
As they help you, talk about how families are made differently. Reassure your children that the new addition won’t replace them but will add to the family. If you get an opportunity to meet the birth mother, ask her if she would like to meet your children, too.
Keep to Your Routine
Although a newborn disrupts a family’s routine, try and maintain as much consistency as possible. If adopting a little older child, they will need time to follow the routine as well.
Don’t immediately plan trips to visit family or have large family gatherings. By keeping your routine, your children will understand that their new sibling is just another addition to the family.
Make Time to Meet One-on-One
Give your children the opportunity to talk about their adopted sibling and how they feel. Let them know it’s safe to share their true feelings. Perhaps choose to take a drive or a hike to make talking a little less confrontational.
Having one-on-one time with each child can remind them that your love hasn’t changed for them. They are still a valuable part of the family.
Let A Gift of Hope Adoptions Help You
Contact A Gift of Hope if you are a couple hoping to add to your family through adoption. We can discuss the adoption process and give you additional tips for helping your children adjust.
If you are an expectant mother or have already given birth and would like to know more about placing your child for adoption, we’re here to help. Contacting us doesn’t require you to make an adoption plan. If you would like, take a look at some of our waiting families, too.
Fill out our convenient online contact form or call (888) 564-HOPE (4673). How can we help you?
This blog is for informational purposes only. This is not legal or medical advice. While we try our best to reflect current laws with accuracy at the time of writing, please note the laws can change over time.