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How to Stay Calm and Supportive When Pregnancy Wasn’t in the Plan

Did a sibling, friend, or your partner just announce they are unexpectedly pregnant? You’re likely shocked but want to be supportive. How do you respond? What should you do?

Research says approximately 45% of all pregnancies in the U.S. are unplanned. An unplanned or unexpected pregnancy can be overwhelming, confusing, and sometimes frightening.

To be supportive, you need to remain calm, be an active listener, and offer positive encouragement. Here are a few ideas that might help.

How Am I Supposed to Stay Calm?

You may think they’ve ruined their life, but not all unplanned pregnancies are a tragedy. Although it may not seem like the perfect time, unplanned doesn’t mean impossible.

To be supportive, don’t panic. Likely, the person experiencing the pregnancy is panicking enough. They don’t need your added concern and fear.

Become an “Active” Listener

Active listening means being fully present and engaged with the person speaking. We are often distracted by our phones or the things happening around us. But we recommend turning it off.

When you listen actively, you make eye contact. You give your full, undivided attention. You put down your cell phone and turn it off.

It’s the perfect way to be supportive and engaged. You want to truly understand what the other person is saying, not just wait to respond or give advice.

Try repeating what the person said to ensure you heard them correctly, or ask open-ended questions for more clarity. Watch their nonverbal cues. Are they nervously twitching? Smiling? Angry?

The goal of all this is to determine how you can best help and support them.

Offer Practical Support

Pregnancy not only changes someone physically, but it also changes them emotionally. Early symptoms of pregnancy include fatigue, nausea, and moodiness.

They may require assistance with handling day-to-day tasks, such as food preparation, laundry, and household cleaning. Offer to help with grocery shopping or go with them to doctor’s appointments.

If they’re trying to decide how to handle the pregnancy, encourage them to consider all their options. When faced with an unexpected pregnancy, they have three choices: have an abortion, choose to parent, or make an adoption plan.

If they do not want to have an abortion, encourage them to talk with us at A Gift of Hope Adoptions. We can explain the adoption process without pressure. If they choose to parent their child, we can offer referrals to community services that will assist them.

Contact A Gift of Hope Adoptions

By staying calm, actively listening, and offering practical support, your sibling, friend, or partner will know you care about them. If you need advice on how to help them further, please reach out online or give us a call at (888) 564-HOPE (4673).

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Elizabeth and A Gift of Hope have been a touchstone during our adoption process. Having had issues with a previous agency – Elizabeth was a breath of fresh air! Reassuring, supportive and empathetic. We are so in love with our daughter and thank A Gift of Hope everyday for her!

AGOHA is a great agency that has provided amazing support and guidance though the adoption process. Would highly recommend AGOHA!

Our family has used their services for adoption. It’s wonderful dealing with someone who is looking out for the whole child, not just placing kids.

A Gift of Hope Adoptions is a Godsend for so many expectant young mothers. I completely recommend this organization for anyone interested in providing a wonderful life for their soon-to-be baby. This organization is also a Godsend for those of us who cannot have our own biological children.

I have recommended A Gift of Hope Adoptions to several mother’s considering adoptions for their babies. They have been so happy to feel supported and empowered through their decision.
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“We adopted both of our sons through A Gift of Hope Adoptions. They helped us every step of the way and answered all the questions we had, and we had a lot! We would not be where we are today, with two busy boys in our family, if it wasn’t for A Gift of Hope.”

“We decided to use A Gift of Hope Adoptions because they are very personal and caring. The wait and uncertainty of adoption seemed daunting, but A Gift of Hope helped make the process go smoothly, and we couldn’t be happier with our beautiful child.”