While thinking about the outcome of your unexpected pregnancy, you’ve decided it’s best to make an adoption plan for your child. Telling your family may be difficult, but with honesty, confidence, and patience, you can show them it’s the right decision. 

Choosing adoption is one of the most important decisions you will make in your life. Our adoption counselors can offer advice and support for sharing the news. Here are some suggestions for how to begin the conversation. 

Present Your Choice Honestly

Some family members respond out of fear, anger, or insecurity. Maybe they don’t understand what adoption means for you, your child, or themselves. As a result, their comments can be hurtful.

Before you talk with family members, learn to speak about adoption correctly. Most people still believe adoption is “giving up” or “giving away” a baby. The truth is you are bravely deciding to give your child a life you cannot provide them. 

Present the facts by answering these questions:

• Are you too young or too old to parent?
• Do you have the financial support you need?
• Is the birth father no longer in your life and won’t be co-parenting with you?
• Are you having difficulty raising other children?
• Can you continue your education or work while parenting?
• Is there a possibility your child will end up in foster care?

All of these are valid reasons to choose adoption. Not everyone will understand or agree with your decision, but you know what is best for you and your baby.

Confidence Comes With Knowing the Process

No loving mother “gives up” or “gives away” her child. You are thinking about your child first and placing them with the adoptive parents you choose. Explain the process of adoption to your family. 

Let them know there are three adoption plans. The most popular plan these days is open adoption. This plan allows the birth family to continue a relationship with the child and their adoptive parents. You exchange identifying information like full names, addresses, and phone numbers.

With a semi-open plan, you still select the adoptive couple and can correspond with the adoptive family and your child. All contact goes through a third party, such as the adoption agency.

You can also choose a closed adoption plan. You remain completely anonymous, and the adoption agency selects the adoptive family based on your criteria. 

Let your family know you are free to change your mind at any time until you sign legal documents to terminate your parental rights. They need to know that you are in charge.  

Have Patience

If possible, speak first with the family member you believe will support your decision. You need a network of support, and we can assist you. Our counselors can talk with you and refer you to others who have made this same decision. 

You know the benefits of adoption for your child, but your family doesn’t. Be patient with them. They may lecture or pressure you, but ultimately, this is your decision. 

Remain open to talking with them during the process and after the finalization of the adoption. If you choose an open adoption, invite some family members to meet your child and their adoptive family. 
For more support for your adoption choice, chat online with our adoption specialist. Your decision is bold, selfless, and hard all at the same time, and we admire you.