How Do I Tell My Family I’m Choosing Adoption?

How Do I Tell My Family I'm Choosing Adoption?

While thinking about the outcome of your unexpected pregnancy, you’ve decided it’s best to make an adoption plan for your child. Telling your family may be difficult, but with honesty, confidence, and patience, you can show them it’s the right decision. 

Choosing adoption is one of the most important decisions you will make in your life. Our adoption counselors can offer advice and support for sharing the news. Here are some suggestions for how to begin the conversation. 

Present Your Choice Honestly

Some family members respond out of fear, anger, or insecurity. Maybe they don’t understand what adoption means for you, your child, or themselves. As a result, their comments can be hurtful.

Before you talk with family members, learn to speak about adoption correctly. Most people still believe adoption is “giving up” or “giving away” a baby. The truth is you are bravely deciding to give your child a life you cannot provide them. 

Present the facts by answering these questions:

  • Are you too young or too old to parent?
  • Do you have the financial support you need?
  • Is the birth father no longer in your life and won’t be co-parenting with you?
  • Are you having difficulty raising other children?
  • Can you continue your education or work while parenting?
  • Is there a possibility your child will end up in foster care?

All of these are valid reasons to choose adoption. Not everyone will understand or agree with your decision, but you know what is best for you and your baby.

Confidence Comes With Knowing the Process

No loving mother “gives up” or “gives away” her child. You are thinking about your child first and placing them with the adoptive parents you choose. Explain the process of adoption to your family. 

Let them know there are three adoption plans. The most popular plan these days is open adoption. This plan allows the birth family to continue a relationship with the child and their adoptive parents. You exchange identifying information like full names, addresses, and phone numbers.

With a semi-open plan, you still select the adoptive couple and can correspond with the adoptive family and your child. All contact goes through a third party, such as the adoption agency.

You can also choose a closed adoption plan. You remain completely anonymous, and the adoption agency selects the adoptive family based on your criteria. 

Let your family know you are free to change your mind at any time until you sign legal documents to terminate your parental rights. They need to know that you are in charge.  

Have Patience

If possible, speak first with the family member you believe will support your decision. You need a network of support, and we can assist you. Our counselors can talk with you and refer you to others who have made this same decision. 

You know the benefits of adoption for your child, but your family doesn’t. Be patient with them. They may lecture or pressure you, but ultimately, this is your decision. 

Remain open to talking with them during the process and after the finalization of the adoption. If you choose an open adoption, invite some family members to meet your child and their adoptive family. 
For more support for your adoption choice, chat online with our adoption specialist. Your decision is bold, selfless, and hard all at the same time, and we admire you.

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Elizabeth and A Gift of Hope have been a touchstone during our adoption process. Having had issues with a previous agency – Elizabeth was a breath of fresh air! Reassuring, supportive and empathetic. We are so in love with our daughter and thank A Gift of Hope everyday for her!

AGOHA is a great agency that has provided amazing support and guidance though the adoption process. Would highly recommend AGOHA!

Our family has used their services for adoption. It’s wonderful dealing with someone who is looking out for the whole child, not just placing kids.

A Gift of Hope Adoptions is a Godsend for so many expectant young mothers. I completely recommend this organization for anyone interested in providing a wonderful life for their soon-to-be baby. This organization is also a Godsend for those of us who cannot have our own biological children.

I have recommended A Gift of Hope Adoptions to several mother’s considering adoptions for their babies. They have been so happy to feel supported and empowered through their decision.
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“We adopted both of our sons through A Gift of Hope Adoptions. They helped us every step of the way and answered all the questions we had, and we had a lot! We would not be where we are today, with two busy boys in our family, if it wasn’t for A Gift of Hope.”

“We decided to use A Gift of Hope Adoptions because they are very personal and caring. The wait and uncertainty of adoption seemed daunting, but A Gift of Hope helped make the process go smoothly, and we couldn’t be happier with our beautiful child.”