Sibling rivalry is as old as time. Remember the Bible story in Genesis of Cain and Abel? Jealousy between biological and adopted siblings can be devastating for a family.

The best way to deal with potential jealousy is to discuss the upcoming changes before the sibling arrives. Paving the way openly and honestly can help everyone accept the new normal.

What Is Sibling Jealousy?

When one sibling becomes jealous of another, it usually means they feel they are not receiving the same amount of love and attention from parents or others. Researchers suggest it’s a combination of attachment issues, social comparison, and family dynamics. In other words, it can’t be defined by one action.

Adoption only increases the potential for jealousy. The adopted child may not feel as close to their adoptive parents, or a biological child may feel their parents are giving too much attention to their adopted sibling.

Adopted children tend to focus on physical and emotional characteristics compared to their biological brother or sister. They wonder why their hair is blonde when the rest of the family has brown hair. They compare their height, eye color, nose shape, or likes and dislikes.

Most biological children don’t question why they don’t look like their mom or dad. They accept the fact that they are a blend of both. But an adopted child, especially from another race, wants to belong as much as possible.

Favoritism, even if unintentional, always spurs jealousy. Every child longs to feel special and important, and parents must maintain a delicate balance.

How Can You Avoid Jealousy?

Avoiding jealousy between siblings is easier said than done. Birth order plays a decisive role. If your biological children came first, you can help them understand the attention their newly adopted sibling will receive.

You can involve your biological child in decorating their new sibling’s room or purchasing clothes. Let them know that everyone will focus their attention on their adopted sibling to make them feel welcome, but that doesn’t change their place in the family.

If a biological child comes after your adopted child, you need to assure the adopted sibling that nothing will change your love for them. It’s especially crucial to proactively communicate this because a baby will require more care, time, and attention. This can be confused as favoritism when, in reality, you are answering your baby’s needs like any of your children at that stage.

Would You Like More Information?

Adoption can be a complicated process. If you are waiting to adopt, take this time to learn about the psychological and emotional impact adoption can have on your entire family. We can help you.

Contact A Gift of Hope Adoptions for more information. We can provide resources and assistance with services. Fill out our convenient online Contact Form or call us at (888) 564-HOPE. We’re happy to answer your adoption questions.

This blog is for informational purposes only. This is not legal or medical advice. While we try our best to reflect current laws with accuracy at the time of writing, please note the laws can change over time.