Contact with Birth Parents After Adoption

baby holding its parents hands

One of the biggest questions women ask when considering adoption for their child is, “Will I have contact with them after the adoption?” Birth mothers and adoptive parents wonder if it will confuse their child to have relationships with both families. The bottom line is maintaining a connection between the biological and adoptive families is usually best for everyone. 

Is Contact Confusing for The Child?

When you select an open or semi-open adoption plan, you automatically choose to have some form of contact with the adoptive family. Together, the birth mother and the adoptive parents determine how much and what form of contact works best for them.

Roughly 5% of adoptions today are closed, meaning there is no contact between the birth and adoptive families. Both sides realize it is helpful for their child’s well-being and a birth mother’s healing to have some form of contact.

Child Welfare states, “Open adoption can provide your child with a sense of connection and completeness.” Not only does it answer common questions for the adoptee, but it also answers questions the birth parents might have.

A child could be wondering–

  • Who do I look like?
  • Why do I like certain things my parents don’t like?
  • How many people are in my biological family?
  • What is my heritage?
  • Why was I placed for adoption?

The birth parents could be wondering–

  • Is my child safe and healthy?
  • Did I make the right choice?
  • Does my child understand why I chose adoption?
  • Who do they look like?
  • Is my child loved?

Is It Easy to Have an Open Adoption?

Adoption is difficult, beautiful, challenging, and awesome all at the same time. No two adoptions are the same because you’re connecting several different families into one. There is loss, and there is healing for every person. 

The relationship between birth and adoptive parents is a mixture of love and anxiety. Both wonder what the other is thinking. “Do they like me?” “ What will they tell people about me?” “How much should I contact them?” “ What is best for my child?”

How Do We Navigate Open Adoption?

Once you have chosen an adoptive couple, you can begin building a relationship immediately. Having an adoption coordinator who thoroughly explains open adoption to both the birth and adoptive parents is critical. Everyone needs to be aware of the benefits and the challenges.

Adoptive parents need to understand the grief and loss their birth mother may feel. A birth mother (and father) must be confident they’ve made the right choice. Everyone must realize it is new territory and mistakes will be made. But with honesty and respect for one another, the child you share can grow in confidence and security, knowing they are well loved.

How We Can Help You

The adoption counselors at A Gift of Hope Adoptions make sure you understand the adoption process from start to finish. We communicate with you regularly to ensure you are comfortable with your chosen plan. When it comes time to choose your adoptive family, we counsel you to look for the perfect couple that meets your expectations for your child. 

If you are unsure if making an adoption plan is right for you, contact us. We can talk about your situation and come up with a solution. All we want is what’s best for you and your child. Call 1-888-564-HOPE or contact us online. We’re available any time.

What Questions Can We Answer?

waiting families Request free information


Elizabeth and A Gift of Hope have been a touchstone during our adoption process. Having had issues with a previous agency – Elizabeth was a breath of fresh air! Reassuring, supportive and empathetic. We are so in love with our daughter and thank A Gift of Hope everyday for her!

AGOHA is a great agency that has provided amazing support and guidance though the adoption process. Would highly recommend AGOHA!

Our family has used their services for adoption. It’s wonderful dealing with someone who is looking out for the whole child, not just placing kids.

A Gift of Hope Adoptions is a Godsend for so many expectant young mothers. I completely recommend this organization for anyone interested in providing a wonderful life for their soon-to-be baby. This organization is also a Godsend for those of us who cannot have our own biological children.

I have recommended A Gift of Hope Adoptions to several mother’s considering adoptions for their babies. They have been so happy to feel supported and empowered through their decision.
Read more…

“We adopted both of our sons through A Gift of Hope Adoptions. They helped us every step of the way and answered all the questions we had, and we had a lot! We would not be where we are today, with two busy boys in our family, if it wasn’t for A Gift of Hope.”

“We decided to use A Gift of Hope Adoptions because they are very personal and caring. The wait and uncertainty of adoption seemed daunting, but A Gift of Hope helped make the process go smoothly, and we couldn’t be happier with our beautiful child.”