Misunderstandings and myths surround adoption. Well-meaning friends and family might say, “You’re giving up your baby to strangers,” “Your child will hate you,” and “You will regret it for the rest of your life.” These myths have been around for decades, and it’s time to straighten out the facts.
Myth 1 “You’re giving up your baby to strangers.”
There are a couple of things wrong with this statement. First of all, a mother never “gives up” her baby. You may give up coffee, fast food, or binge-watching Friends on your phone, but a baby is never “given up.”
Adoption planning has changed. Now, the birth mother (and father, if available) selects the family and the lifestyle she wants for her child. In addition, she and the adoptive couple can meet each other before the birth of her child and begin building a relationship.
There’s another problem with this myth. Potential adoptive couples will never be strangers to the birth parents. These couples go through a rigorous screening process that includes background checks, home studies, supplying medical and financial statements, and detailed interviews.
As you review the portfolios of potential adoptive couples, you learn about their homes, hobbies, religion, jobs, and so much more. They’re not strangers.
Myth 2 “Your child will hate you.”
The number one adoption plan today is open. An open adoption means the birth parents and the adoptive parents exchange identifying information. You will know each other’s full names, addresses, phone numbers, and whatever else you want to share.
Because of the openness of adoption, children who have the opportunity to know their birth parents and understand the consequences surrounding their adoption have more confidence.
They enjoy a connection to their heritage and family history.
Open adoption allows a birth mother to explain why she chose adoption, and the child can ask important questions. Ideally, the adoptive family and birth family make a larger extended family for the child.
Myth 3 “You will regret it for the rest of your life.”
Like your other choices for your unplanned pregnancy, adoption can be difficult emotionally. There is pain and grief, but as you learn about adoption, you may find making an adoption plan for your child is your best option.
A reputable adoption agency provides proper counsel beforehand and opportunities to join adoption support groups afterward. No one can force you to choose adoption.
To those who would say, “you need to move on,” remind them you are a mother, and a mother never “moves on” from her child.
Many birth mothers come to appreciate the opportunity, safety, and love their child receives, but they never forget their child. You will always be a part of your child’s story.
Talk With Us
If you want to know more about the adoption process, contact A Gift of Hope Adoptions. Our adoption coordinators want to hear your story and help you determine what’s best for you and your child’s future.
Don’t let misunderstandings and myths keep you from considering adoption. We can answer your questions, talk through your fears, and help you find the right solution.